Judging by the title you are probably wondering am I serious? You read that right, he literally shit himself while having sex with me. This by far is the funniest and most embarrassing sex story that actually happened to me. I was in relationship with this guy for a little over a year when this happened. We had intimacy issues throughout the relationship. There’s really no nice way to put this other than he sucked in bed. He was a one pump chump, and had no game whatsoever since the beginning. The first time we had sex I should have went running. This was the last sexual encounter I had with him, and I ended things pretty shortly after this. Recalling back to the night, I was pretty sexually frustrated. We hadn’t been intimate for quite some time. So, I suggested we have sex and got things in motion so to speak. We were in his bed, and I was laying flat on my back while he was standing. You get the picture. He was semi hard, but I went with it anyway. It was over about as quickly as it started. He went inside me twice before finishing when all of the sudden I heard him groan and grab his stomach. I jumped up real quick and was like what the hell? Only to find that he had taken a dump on the floor. He made a run for the restroom. I was completely in shock and wanted to laugh so badly. I didn’t due to the embarrassing nature of the situation. I put on my clothes, and waited for him to get out of the restroom to address him. However, he took his sweet time in there. So instead, I texted him and dipped out. As funny as the situation was, a part of me was completely hurt because at the time I couldn’t figure out what the hell was the matter with me. He always blamed me for his short comings in bed (pun intended). He would tell me that I was too intimidating, and that I was too much of a sexual freak for him. I didn’t understand because you don’t get much more vanilla than missionary. I toned down for him completely, and was left unfulfilled every time. As much as I regret being with him, I learned an important lesson with him. That is that sexual satisfaction and intimacy is key to a lasting relationship. Lack of intimacy and sexual satisfaction can lead to lower self esteem, problems with self-confidence, feelings of neglect, and issues connecting with your partner. For those reasons, I will never again compromise that. Intimacy is important to me in a relationship, especially since it’s a way I express love. I realize it’s not important to everyone, and that’s okay if you’re content with that. I, however am not and will never be. This article was not intended to hurt anyone or embarrass this person. I wanted to put this story out there so people can learn from my mistakes, and maybe some of you can even relate.