Judging by the title you are probably wondering am I serious? You read that right, he literally shit himself while having sex with me. This by far is the funniest and most embarrassing sex story that actually happened to me. I was in relationship with this guy for a little over a year when this happened. We had intimacy issues throughout the relationship. There’s really no nice way to put this other than he sucked in bed. He was a one pump chump, and had no game whatsoever since the beginning. The first time we had sex I should have went running. This was the last sexual encounter I had with him, and I ended things pretty shortly after this. Recalling back to the night, I was pretty sexually frustrated. We hadn’t been intimate for quite some time. So, I suggested we have sex and got things in motion so to speak. We were in his bed, and I was laying flat on my back while he was standing. You get the picture. He was semi hard, but I went with it anyway. It was over about as quickly as it started. He went inside me twice before finishing when all of the sudden I heard him groan and grab his stomach. I jumped up real quick and was like what the hell? Only to find that he had taken a dump on the floor. He made a run for the restroom. I was completely in shock and wanted to laugh so badly. I didn’t due to the embarrassing nature of the situation. I put on my clothes, and waited for him to get out of the restroom to address him. However, he took his sweet time in there. So instead, I texted him and dipped out. As funny as the situation was, a part of me was completely hurt because at the time I couldn’t figure out what the hell was the matter with me. He always blamed me for his short comings in bed (pun intended). He would tell me that I was too intimidating, and that I was too much of a sexual freak for him. I didn’t understand because you don’t get much more vanilla than missionary. I toned down for him completely, and was left unfulfilled every time. As much as I regret being with him, I learned an important lesson with him. That is that sexual satisfaction and intimacy is key to a lasting relationship. Lack of intimacy and sexual satisfaction can lead to lower self esteem, problems with self-confidence, feelings of neglect, and issues connecting with your partner. For those reasons, I will never again compromise that. Intimacy is important to me in a relationship, especially since it’s a way I express love. I realize it’s not important to everyone, and that’s okay if you’re content with that. I, however am not and will never be. This article was not intended to hurt anyone or embarrass this person. I wanted to put this story out there so people can learn from my mistakes, and maybe some of you can even relate.
Do you ever feel like you’re in the wrong place like you’re destined to be somewhere else? No matter what you do or accomplish, you still have that feeling like you can do bigger and better things. This feeling never goes away for me. Ever since I could remember, I told people I would never stay where I was at. I knew at a very young age, I was meant to do something great, something big with my life. I realize for many people this may sound like aspirations. For a while, I tried to convince myself that it was just that. I thought I would wake up one day, and be content where I was at. The older I get, the stronger the feeling and/or urge is for me to pack everything and follow my gut. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy where I am now, but there is just something in me driving me to go out and do more in this world. This is making me question everything I have done up until this point. I’m in school right now, and my major is in clinical psychology. Whenever I start to question whether this is right for me, something occurs within my life that assures me I’m on the right path. This has proven to be true for other aspects of my life as well. However, the one thing that has never been certain for me is this place where I’m at right now. I ask myself sometimes where is home, and I realize it’s not here. I know it in my heart where I am supposed to be, but following through with this means leaving everything behind. I know when I leave, I’m going to end up hurting many people. That stopped me once before, but so much time has passed and my desire only grew stronger. It’s scary, but I know I will never be content with my life if I don’t follow through with it. So, this is for all the people taking a leap of faith, and following their dreams. The only time I can recall being scared and excited all at once.
1. You can’t openly talk to this person. What I mean by this is you can’t say what you really want to say because this person doesn’t seem to care and/ or makes you feel crazy or not normal whenever you do try to bring up a conversation. I’m not talking about random conversations. I’m talking about the conversations where it involves your feelings. Things that are important to you.
2. You always feel like you are doing too much. You ever get that feeling like you’re in a one-sided relationship? You are constantly showing your love and appreciation for this person in hopes they will do the same. Chances are this person doesn’t feel the same way you do about them.
3. You are constantly having to ask for things. What I mean by that is you are having to ask: for your partner to spend time with you, for him/her to show you some type of affection, to do things that regular couples just do.
4. They aren’t there when you need them. When things get real and you are the one in need, your partner is no where to be found. They give you excuses for why they can’t be there or they can’t talk to you at the moment. You are put on the back burner so to speak. Meanwhile you are always quick to jump through hoops to make sure they are alright.
5. Your partner shows no interest in you. Some people in life like the chase more than they like the capture. Did your partner show more interest in you during the talking stage? Now that you are dating they stopped completely showing interest in you. This can be very painful and you can be left feeling pretty lonely. This is a reason you may be doing too much for them. You are trying so hard to get them to show some interest in you whether it’s emotionally or physically, but it just doesn’t work.
Her eyes are something one can never forget.
She’s not at all what you’d expect.
She has the devil’s look and the heart of an angel.
The perfect mixture of heaven and hell.
Think twice before you enter her domain,
she blurred the line between love and pain.
Her heart is big, but can grow so cold.
You’d be wise not to cross her,
that woman is danger even in her most innocent form.
And if after this you still decide to look for her,
you’ll find her waiting where the darkness lingers.
We meet again old friend, it’s as if you never truly left. I feel you now even more so than before. You had me fooled, I wanted to believe in what I once thought was only in my dreams. There for a second I did actually believe. I believed that I had finally found the one that’s going to reciprocate my love. I believed that after all the hardships something good had finally come my way. I believed that I had found someone who adored me as much as I do them. I have since given up on those fairytales, and reverted back to my old ways. A few tears and a glass of wine later, I accepted that this is just how it’s meant to be. After all it is better to have died with a cold heart than a broken one. You feel nothing instead of everything.
I crave him in ways that are unimaginable to the human mind. One touch sends me into overdrive, and a kiss into ecstasy. He teases me with his looks. He knows what he is doing to me, and enjoys seeing me agonize over how much I want him. Yet, he still makes me wait. I pretend that he is the devil at times because he makes me want to sin every time he is near. So I wait for him day and night. Just like the devil he is deceiving. He is nowhere to be found when I need him, and only comes around to be pleased. He leaves me wanting him, but him not me. My body and soul long for the love that he is unwilling to give me.