To My Fellow Scorpios

Dear Scorpios,

Does anyone else ever feel like a human lie detector? I feel like this is a true Scorpio thing. I can literally spot someone’s BS a mile away, and sense when they are about to lie to me. The one thing I cannot stand for is lies. I want the truth even if it kills me.  I love it when these bullshitters actually think I believe their lies. I used to confront people who lied to me, but now I use it to my advantage. I let them think they are getting away with it, and throw it right back in their face when they are most vulnerable. Some may say that’s harsh, but it truly does stop them from lying to me again.  What do you guys think?

Sincerely,

A Pissed Off Scorpio

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Words My Heart Won’t Let Me Say

I will always have those moments in my life where I wish I would have spoken up. The moments where I wish I would have said what was so heavy on my heart. Those are the words my heart would not allow me to say. The things I buried deep, and the burden I carry with me every day. I believe we all have had moments in our life where we longed to say something, but the words were just easier to swallow than say. You come to the point where you have to decide do you let it eat you alive, or do you set it free and move past it. For the longest time, I let it eat me alive. It overtook me until I let it become me. I had become even more closed off from people. I stopped allowing people in until people no longer knew who I was anymore. I put on such a brave face every day that no one can ever tell how much pain I’m in or how great of a burden I’m carrying. I have and still to this day take care of everybody. I’m everyone’s shoulder to lean on. To the best of my ability, I always treat people the way I want to be treated. I’m there for everyone the way they should be there for me. Keyword should. Maybe one day they will wake up and do the same for me. That day has yet to come. Unfortunately, I have become accustomed to this. I never ask for anything from anyone. I am strong because I have been put through things where that was my only option. I am strong even when I don’t have to be. I am the type that would rather lose a limb than to ever let someone see me in my moment of weakness. Over the years I have learned that just because I’m strong doesn’t mean I don’t need someone to be there for me from time to time. I just keep hoping one day someone will tell me that I don’t have to be so strong because they will be there to take care of me even when I fall. Not only say that but actually follow through on those words. Maybe one day that person will hear the words my heart would never let me say and all the burdens that lay heavy on my chest will go away.

Deja Vu

It was my senior year of high school, everything is going amazing for me. I was a straight A student with an excellent GPA, and all my teachers loved me. I was the girl who had everything figured out, and already planned out what I wanted and what age I was going to get it. I had my whole life planned out. That year I was offered a full ride to Georgetown University. I was completely in shock; I had applied, but I didn’t think I was going to get a full ride. I remember going home that day so excited to tell my family. My family was always very proud of me, especially my father. My family had known for a long time all I wanted to do was get out of the small town I currently live in, and go to a much bigger city. Somewhere I could have an adventure, and write about all the amazing things I did. I live for travel and adventures.So, when I told my family that I would be moving they were not the least bit surprised. Everyone was happy for me, but sad at the same time that I would be leaving. I didn’t accept the offer right away even though I wanted to. I wanted to scream hell yes at the top of my lungs, and pack my bags right away. There was one thing holding me back from doing so. That one thing made me turn down the offer. I was secretly devastated by this. No one knew that at the time though. I look back from time to time and wonder what would have happened if I had accepted the offer. I wonder how my life would have turned out. I wonder if I would have been much happier. Most importantly I wonder if I made the right decision. Here I am two years later, faced with the same decision and I am completely at a loss of what I should do. Within the past year, my life here has completely changed. I rediscovered who I was, and what I wanted out of my life. I want a life filled with happiness, risks, wisdom, and adventure. I keep contemplating it in my mind if I can get all that and reside where I am today. A part of me wants to leave and go after this amazing life that I always dreamed of, but another part me is not ready to leave behind what I started here. Especially if what I started here is something that is meant to be. Decisions, decisions.

Stigma Sorrounding Mental Disorders

Today my abnormal psychology class had an interesting discussion on what is considered to be normal in today’s society. As a future psychologist, I absolutely hate the word abnormal. Who is to say what is normal and what isn’t. However, I do believe there are people who have mental disorders/ disabilities that impair and/ or complicates the individual’s quality of life. The discussion ultimately boiled down to the stigma against people who suffer from a mental disorder. This is a topic that really gets my blood boiling, and me being the blunt person I am I opened my big mouth in class today. It was incredible for me to see firsthand what people think about people who suffer from a mental disorder(s). I was shocked. People had such distorted and exaggerated images of what a person who suffers from a mental disorder acts like and even looks like. We use labels such as crazy, schizo, looney, abnormal, bipolar, OCD and so on. I hate labeling anyone and using words like that to define someone. A mental disorder should not define anyone. Instead of saying that person is bipolar or schizophrenic, we should be saying that person suffers from bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Labeling people who suffer from these types of disorders has just added to the stigma. I have so much respect and love for the people who have a mental disorder. My passion and the thing that drives me the most about becoming a psychologist is that one day I am going to wake up every day of my life and improve the quality of life of an individual that society has basically shunned. Everyone no matter what they are suffering from should never feel any less of a human being because they suffer from a mental illness. I have made it my mission in life to actually help these individuals, and bring more awareness to mental illness. In doing so I hope to decrease the stigma around it. I decided to start a chapter at my school that is going to bring awareness to mental illness and what it actually is like to suffer from mental illness. I am beyond excited and will keep you guys posted on the progress and things I am doing with the chapter.

How Veganism Changed My Life

I have officially been vegan for seven months now, and it has been the best decision I have made thus far in my life. I have not looked back since. Let me rewind a little bit and share why I became vegan. Growing up I have always had issues with my health. In and out of doctor’s offices, and emergency rooms. It seemed like a never ending cycle. I would resolve one issue only to find out something else is wrong with me. I am not big on taking medication, and embrace the idea that our bodies can naturally heal itself. I started researching home remedies, and how to keep your body healthy a more natural way. I came upon a video on YouTube that introduced the idea of veganism to me. After that, I watched several other videos and read many articles on being vegan. I decided this was something that I wanted to try out for myself. The question people ask me the most is if it was hard transitioning to becoming vegan. I reply no with a smirk on my face. I transitioned hard and fast into the vegan lifestyle. I went cold turkey so to speak on anything that had any form of animal product in it. I still can’t believe how incredibly easy it was for me because I had read other people’s experiences on transitioning into veganism and how difficult it was for them. I think the biggest factor in my transitioning so easily was the fact I never liked to eat meat in the first place. It made me sick to my stomach to think I was going to eat something that had to suffer in order to get on my plate.  Growing up I would always look for alternatives like fruits and veggies. The fact that I am also lactose intolerant helped too because for those that don’t know vegans don’t consume any form of dairy. I made this change in my life after moving out of my parent’s home because I had the freedom and the resources to choose how I was going to live my life. I’m happy to say that I have never been healthier. Seven months and not one doctor visit or emergency room incident. For me, that has been a great blessing in my life as well as a burden that has been lifted off my shoulders. I do plan to make more posts about veganism, and delicious recipes I discovered along the way.

Happy New Year/ Huge Life Update

It has been a while since I last posted, and so much has happened since then. I haven’t had time to post anything because school and my work life has got in the way of my writing. I am currently in the last half of my second year of college. It has been a year of changes. All have been positive changes. Starting with work, I got a job that is helping me work towards my career as being a psychotherapist. I have finally affirmed that becoming a psychotherapist is my calling in life. My advice to anyone struggling to find their calling is to really think about yourself only when making this decision. It is a huge decision in your life and one that is only going to affect you for the most part ( if you have kids and/or spouse then this will affect them too). I came to the conclusion that I can no longer live my life how others are wanting and telling me to live it. So I decided to be selfish, and block everyone’s opinion (my family mostly) and I followed my gut. I am staying on the path to becoming a psychotherapist regardless of what others have told me. Another huge life update is that I am in a relationship again, and I have never been happier in my entire life. I am going to make a separate post about this later. I want to wish everyone a happy new year, and may it bring everyone lots of love and happiness.

Starting YouTube

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. I know it has been a while since I posted, but I have been working on a few projects. I have been thinking about starting a YouTube channel. I don’t necessarily want to vlog; I was thinking more of advice and story time videos. I need some advice from you guys, what do you think? Any advice from those of you who have a YouTube channel?

Healthy Life Starts with a Healthy Mind

It has been two years officially since I started my weight loss journey. This journey went from focusing on the numbers dropping on the scale to me feeling good and healthy. In the beginning, I was more focused on the losing the weight and seeing the numbers drop on the scale. As time went on, I didn’t become satisfied with the way I was so idolized around the scale. Getting happy or discouraged if I lost or gained a pound. Weight loss and feeling good about yourself really begins with your mentality. Sometimes a person is just not as confident as they thought they were going to be after losing a certain amount of weight. Losing weight is just one component that contributes to feeling good and being healthy. When I realized that, everything changed. I wanted to be satisfied with my inner self as well as my outer self. I looked in the mirror and I told myself you make yourself who you are. No one has control of who you are and no one has the power to label you what you are for the rest of your life. I stopped getting on the scale, and I focused more on bring myself up rather than down. Anytime you want to make a change in your life, you have to do it for yourself. If you are making a change in your life for someone else such as losing weight, you will ultimately fail. You have to want this change for you. Chances are if you are doing it for the right reasons, you will have a much stronger drive to accomplish what you started. Overall surround yourself with positive people and positive thoughts. Don’t let anyone feed negative thoughts into your mind that can discourage you from your goal.

Taking Soda Out of My Diet and My Weight Loss Journey

This has been one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. This time last year I made the decision to start living and eating healthy. I started by cutting soda completely out of my diet. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I used to drink Sprite with every meal, and I also was eating fast food everyday. Once I stopped drinking soda, and combined that with working out every day, the weight just started coming off. I was looking and feeling better about myself within a few months. I drank only water and occasionally a glass of unsweet tea. I am happy to say that now I have completely cut sugar out of my diet. I have lost a total of 35 pounds and am still continuing on my weight loss journey. My advice to people who are trying to lose weight is to not give up, and make sure your expectations are realistic. Don’t expect to lose 40+ pounds in a month or two. That is not the case, and don’t believe anyone that tells you so. It took me an entire year to lose 35 pounds, and my weight still fluctuates from time to time. I had very unrealistic expectations when I first started, I thought I would reach my goal within a few months. At first I lost 15 pounds within a month, but after that month the weight was coming off slowly. Now I have hit a plateau, and am working on overcoming it. I am not going to lie, there has been days where I have looked in the mirror and felt like giving up. I recommend that if you are trying to lose weight find a friend or a partner to support you. It is much easier when you have someone there to encourage you, and help live this healthy lifestyle with you.

Choosing A Major

Some of us already know what we want to do for the rest of our life, and there are lots of people who don’t have a clue of what they should do. I think this is one of the biggest decisions that a person can make, and it’s not something that should be taken lightly. People should also know that it is okay to change your major, and that doesn’t make you any less intelligent. My experience with choosing a major was a struggle. I felt very pressured to choose a major that was going to make a lot of income, rather than choosing a major that I liked. Money is not everything, let me just say that. I first majored in biology, thinking I was going to be a doctor. I absolutely hated it, I took classes that did not interest me. I really struggled to get through the material. Halfway through the semester, I had thoughts about changing my major. It was a difficult, yet relieving decision to finally change my major. My advice to the people who are struggling to choose a major is to study what you love. Money is something to consider, but it is certainly not everything. I am a hundred times happier with my psychology major than I ever was with biology. If you have multiple interests or aren’t sure what your interests may be, I would suggest taking some career assessments online. My college offered career and personality assessments to help students choose a major. I am not sure if other colleges offer that, but it is definitely something worth looking into.